Week 1
It's been one week since the virtual Allen Carr workshop and also one week without smoking.
Of course, during this week I've had moments then I think or fancy smoking but the "pangs" are mild and manageable, they lack the "panicky" sensation I felt when I was a smoker (i.e the feeling when you realize you have only one cigarette left and it's 10pm on a Sunday night).
During the five years I stopped smoking before relapsing in December last year, I was a sporty and healthy person - I workout minimum three times per week, I try to eat a clean diet and even drink vegan protein shakes, it doesn't take much to see the contradiction I was living in during the past few months by smoking a cigarette 10min after going for a run. Smoking made me feel like a hypocrite.
So, I went for a run on Tuesday and I know that two days "clean" might not be enough to fix the damage I've done to my lungs in the past five months or the many years I smoked before, but somehow I found I could breath better, like the oxygen could flow again with ease - I managed to run for a longer distance than I had for the past few months.
On a separate note, I am enjoying coffee more than I did for the past 5 months, coffee has taken back the prime seat on my mornings, it's not just a prop for a smoking occasion. Morning cigarettes were my favorite but also the ones that made me feel the most guilt and shame.
Last Sunday, at the end of the workshop we had a Q&A session and someone asked if we should avoid situations or things that usually would "trigger" us to smoke, things like the morning coffee, a glass of wine at night, big meals, going out or seeing friends (if it was only allowed), etc... our Allen Carr facilitator said that we shouldn't avoid triggers, instead we should look for them and enjoy the process of separating these "triggers" from our new reality - something like stop hiding and start facing your fears so you can realize how strong you actually are.
I feel strong, and I am proud of my second first week :)
Of course, during this week I've had moments then I think or fancy smoking but the "pangs" are mild and manageable, they lack the "panicky" sensation I felt when I was a smoker (i.e the feeling when you realize you have only one cigarette left and it's 10pm on a Sunday night).
During the five years I stopped smoking before relapsing in December last year, I was a sporty and healthy person - I workout minimum three times per week, I try to eat a clean diet and even drink vegan protein shakes, it doesn't take much to see the contradiction I was living in during the past few months by smoking a cigarette 10min after going for a run. Smoking made me feel like a hypocrite.
So, I went for a run on Tuesday and I know that two days "clean" might not be enough to fix the damage I've done to my lungs in the past five months or the many years I smoked before, but somehow I found I could breath better, like the oxygen could flow again with ease - I managed to run for a longer distance than I had for the past few months.
On a separate note, I am enjoying coffee more than I did for the past 5 months, coffee has taken back the prime seat on my mornings, it's not just a prop for a smoking occasion. Morning cigarettes were my favorite but also the ones that made me feel the most guilt and shame.
Last Sunday, at the end of the workshop we had a Q&A session and someone asked if we should avoid situations or things that usually would "trigger" us to smoke, things like the morning coffee, a glass of wine at night, big meals, going out or seeing friends (if it was only allowed), etc... our Allen Carr facilitator said that we shouldn't avoid triggers, instead we should look for them and enjoy the process of separating these "triggers" from our new reality - something like stop hiding and start facing your fears so you can realize how strong you actually are.
I feel strong, and I am proud of my second first week :)
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